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The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did): THE #1 SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER by [Philippa Perry]

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Philippa Perry

The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did): THE #1 SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER Kindle Edition

by Philippa Perry (Author) Format: Kindle Edition

5,902 ratings

in Parenting Teenagers

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THE #1 SUNDAY TIMESBESTSELLER

From the UK's favourite therapist, as seen on Channel 4's Grayson's Art Club.

'A wonderful book' Richard Osman

'So clear and true ... Helpful for all relationships in life' Nigella Lawson

'A fascinating read on the emotional baggage we all carry' Elizabeth Day
______________________________________________________________________________________

How can we have better relationships?

In this Sunday Times bestseller, leading psychotherapist Philippa Perry reveals the vital do's and don'ts of relationships. This is a book for us all.

Whether you are interested in understanding how your upbringing has shaped you, looking to handle your child's feelings or wishing to support your partner, you will find indispensable information and realistic tips in these pages.

Philippa Perry's sane, sage and judgement-free advice is an essential resource on how to have the best possible relationships with the people who matter to you most.
_____________________________________________________________________________________

'It gave me hope as a new parent' Babita Sharma

'This has genuinely had such a positive impact on my life and my relationship with my daughter' Josh Widdicombe

'She writes with an inquisitive elegance rarely found in parenting guides ... it is forgiving and persuasive' Hadley Freeman, the Guardian

'Philippa Perry is one of the wisest, most sane and secure people I've ever met' Decca Aitkenhead, Sunday Times Magazine

Print length

240 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Penguin
Publication date

7 March 2019
File size

1767 KB
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Review

It is like a letter from a wise friend who happens to have done years of research (...) I am grateful for it ― Aida Edemariam, The Guardian

Made me think about me and who I am and my parents and who they are and maybe, hopefully, one day what sort of parent I might strive to be ― Dolly Alderton

This is a kind and forgiving book that advocates kind and forgiving behaviour, to ourselves and our partners ― Cathy Rentzenbrink, The Times

I've had the most wonderful feedback from this episode. People stopping me on the street to say how much they've love the book's advice. Philippa's wisdom and delivery has resonated with many parents out there. I can't thank her enough for her time and energy ― Happy Place podcast

I don't have kids but [this book] is a fascinating read on the emotional baggage we all carry ― Elizabeth Day, How to Fail podcast

A beautifully comprehensive look at what it might mean to be a sane and emotionally intelligent parent; hugely warm, wise, hopeful and encouraging that, with a little self-reflection and insight, we could all learn to spare the next generation a few of our own troubles ― Alain de Botton

The Easter holidays were a complete joy because of your book - I feel about a trillion times more relaxed and connected as a parent and I have also found it very helpful for my sobriety and recovery ― Bryony Gordon

I'm not a parent. But I fucking LOVE Philippa Perry and think she's wise and brilliant so this will be amazing ― Bella Mackie

EVERY parent should read this book, however old their child. In fact, any adult in a relationship should read it too. Distilled in less than 250 pages is a road map to healthy relationships. Required reading ― Express

Not got kids? It doesn't matter, as the wonderful psychotherapist Philippa Perry's latest book is actually about using our pasts to understand ourselves (...) it's also an excellent book for reminding yourself: life is hard and you're doing your best - so try not to beat yourself up for everyday mistakes ― Stylist

Parenting from preconception to adulthood. Couldn't come at a better time as my older children and I navigate the road to their independent and unique lives ― Fern Britton

So clear and true ... can't stop recommending it to people ... helpful for all relationships in life, not just parent-child ― Nigella Lawson

Whenever I see Philippa Perry and ask her advice on parenting (which is basically every time I see her) she always says exactly what I wish I'd thought. She's one smart woman, and definitely knows her shit ― Charlie Condou

Thank you for being a genius Philippa Perry!!! ― Jessie Cave

Bloody insightful and useful ― Mary Portas

A wonderful book from Philippa Perry, so wise and full of humanity. Communication, love, well-being ― Richard Osman

If you're determinedly not a self-help kind of reader (like me), make an exception for [this book]. And if you're not a parent, don't dismiss it. The message is one of non-judgemental kindness. The sophisticated psychoanalytical version of my "count to ten and then say something kind" advice to my kids (and myself) when things start to fall apart ― Vogue

This book is guidance on how to bond with your children based on understanding how your own upbringing affects your parenting ― Lorraine Candy, Sunday Times

Philippa Perry is the wisest coolest person ― Emma Gannon

As a mother of a three year old, I have an aversion to the endless saccharine social-media posts about parenting. Perry's book is the antithesis of all that - practical and logical ― Elle --This text refers to the hardcover edition.

Review

A parenting book for people who don't buy parenting books --This text refers to the hardcover edition.

ASIN ‏ : ‎ B07GRBB9WQ
Publisher ‏ : ‎ Penguin; 2 edition (7 March 2019)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
File size ‏ : ‎ 1767 KB
Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Print length ‏ : ‎ 240 pages

Best Sellers Rank: 2,341 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- 1 in Couples & Family Therapy (Kindle Store)
- 1 in Child Psychotherapy
- 1 in Parenting Teenagers (Kindle Store)

Customer Reviews:
5,902 ratings

About the author

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Philippa Perry

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After volunteering with the Samaritans, Philippa trained as a psychotherapist. She worked in the mental health field for several years before writing her graphic novel, Couch Fiction which lays bare the process of psychotherapy, published by Palgrave Macmillan in 2010. Her second book, How to Stay Sane, was written for a series published by the School of Life and Pan Macmillan in 2012. Her third book, The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (And Your Children Will be Glad That You Did) will be published by Penguin Life in April 2019.

As well as continuing her psychotherapy work with an organisation called Talk for Health, Philippa has presented several documentaries including: The Truth about Children Who Lie; The Age of Emotion; and Humiliation for BBC Radio 4. For Channel 4 she has presented the documentaries: Being Bipolar; and The Great British Sex Survey. For BBC4 she has written and presented: Truth Lies and Love Bites, a history of Agony Aunts, and How To Be A Surrealist with Philippa Perry. Along with this, Philippa also created a cartoon agony aunt series for Guardian Video and has contributed to many other radio and television programs.

She lives in London with her husband the artist, Grayson Perry and they have a grown up daughter, the writer and illustrator, Flo Perry.

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Customer reviews

5 star		74%
4 star		16%
3 star		7%
2 star		1%
1 star		2%

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Rika

Getting in touch with my inner child

Reviewed in Australia on 17 December 2019

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I found this book to be very helpful. Through the book I can reflect and observe my own case.
It also presents examples with cases that are close to the real life. With the author's style of writing, it is so easy to relate to the cases and stories in the book. I love the book!

2 people found this helpful

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Joanne Ling

Interesting read

Reviewed in Australia on 12 August 2021

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This book was an eye opener for me, I must admit I shed a few tears reading it and also a few light bulb moments. Highly recommend.

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Sharon D.

Took 2 months to receive

Reviewed in Australia on 8 October 2021

Verified Purchase

Disappointed that it took 2 months.
I did not realise it was coming from India so that's probably my fault for not reading properly. The book was damaged and had black ink on it because it was wrapped in newspaper, disappointing as is to be a gift

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John Pigott

Content great - printing/binding quality is dubious (feels really cheap)

Reviewed in Australia on 1 May 2022

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The actual writing is engaging and, we found, useful.

Our gripe is with the printing/binding quality - we wonder whether it really is a penguin printed book or a fake?

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Carlos Curiel

Buy it!

Reviewed in Australia on 26 August 2021

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Buy it.. read it... Read it again!
There's sections in this book I know I will need to reread and digest again so it's such a good book to have hanging around the house.

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Justine

A great read

Reviewed in Australia on 29 May 2021

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A great read. I wish I'd read it a long time ago.

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Pinki

Very useful

Reviewed in Australia on 18 December 2021

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Helps to build more understanding not only with your child nurturing but also more about human nature and much more....

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Anastasia Makshakova

Great read

Reviewed in Australia on 14 May 2021

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Great book, prompts a lot of self reflection and helps come to terms with parenting.

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emma who reads a lot

Full of huge realisations and moments of insight

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 11 March 2019

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I thought this book was superb but more than that, after about ten minutes I felt it was already changing my behaviour! My friend who recommended it said the same.
Perry lays out her methods and thoughts very gently, with lots of good examples from real life, little case studies; but it’s the insights which really help. Looking at WHY we lose our rag about certain trigger bits of parenting - going back to our own childhoods and looking at why - OH MY GOD. Brilliant.
There’s also so much help here about FIXING those situations once you as the parent have cocked up. Rupture / repair, as she puts it.
And also advice on how to manage your parental situations better. When your kid says look at this, LOOK AT IT. I know that sounds sort of obvious but often I will say “hang on a sec I’m making dinner” etc. I feel like from now on I will do that differently because it doesn’t take two seconds to run and look. And the response you get is ♥️
I found it readable, funny, thoughtful, insightful, but most of all INCREDIBLY useful and, very very very rare for a book, genuinely life-changing.

515 people found this helpful

Kay

Preachy.

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 25 August 2019

Verified Purchase

This got a lot of good reviews so I had a go at it but found it to be all a bit of a headache. I don’t think its intention is to make you feel a useless parent who is messing up your kid but that’s exactly how I (and friends) felt after reading it.

All very valid points and tips; some are basic common sense but quite a lot that are just not achievable day to day. It also doesn’t really consider other lifestyles either just rounds everyone up as the same. All very well talking about co-sleeping etc. But some families aren’t able to facilitate that due to shiftwork, etc. Also long term lack of sleep can have a hugely physical & mental detrimental affect on everyone in the household, especially the child but there was nothing to acknowledge that. It’s all a bit idealistic. Parenting is very different for everyone; due to culture, finance, support etc.

It’s really clear that the author has only one child because the message about meeting your child’s needs and listening to them one on one when they have meltdowns etc. is quite achievable with one child (I remember the days of one!!). But not so much with three (especially if they’re all having a melt-down at the same time). The story of her sitting with her daughter on the pavement to meet at her level just tickled me. I have 2 school runs and then work straight after, so sitting and reflecting on the pavement every time one of my children have a morning outburst is not going to happen. And that summarises the book for me, all very lovely in theory but practically it is a bit unrealistic.

The message was one of blame I think, if you get annoyed with your child it’s because it highlights something in your childhood. I’m sure that is sometimes true, however sometimes kids are just annoying(?!) sometimes they’re mean and greedy or rude and spoilt. The idea that you can’t challenge that is a bit ridiculous.

Can’t say I’ve taken much away from it really, the tone was too patronising and the content a bit too vague & middle class.

305 people found this helpful

Amazon Customer

Invaluable, even if your kids are quite grown up now

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 14 March 2019

Verified Purchase

I was a bit apprehensive about reading this. My inner critical parent doesn't need much excuse to rear up and undermine me, and I've got 14 years of being a parent to reflect back on, a fair few of which have been very fraught, so maybe it's too late for this kind of book? But very glad I treated myself to it; a book that helps soothe that inner voice, whilst helping you reflect on things that you *know* aren't working with your parenting but you didn't really know why, or what you could do differently. Warning: you'll probably cry, a kind of reflective, forgiving cry that shifts your mascara half way down your cheeks.A wonderful book that's got me thinking about relationships in general, and my relationship with my son and my parents in particular. Thank you.

251 people found this helpful

AmazonCustomer84

Interesting but too general about sleep training

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 17 April 2019

Verified Purchase

Interesting book which gives great advice on how to communicate with babies, children and teenagers. However the bit about sleep training didn't seem thoroughly researched - Perry suggests doing it gently and nudging a child to do this but she has obviously not experienced a baby who screams and cries every half hour through the night for many months or even years- imagine the stress for the baby and the parents. This can lead to PND, constantly grumpy parents (not good for a baby), extreme fatigue and in some cases, can break up relationships. Fortunately my baby is a great sleeper (we were just lucky but might not be next time) but I have known countless friends who have tried nudging their baby to sleep with no success. The only thing that has worked in most cases is sleep training which means a few nights of crying but then after, everyone is happy inc baby and parents. My brother is 36 and was sleep trained this way and is a happy, secure and sound sleeper. In an ideal world, where we lived in large family groups, had more support and didn't have to go back to work after 6 - 12 months then I agree, it might not be necessary but unfortunatly the reality is it is actually very hard for many families. Most of us don't have the luxury of not working, having a huge family support system or large amounts of money to get help. However the rest of the book is good advice, I just think this is a contentious issue and should have been more tactfully put, thinking of individual experiences. I can imagine a lot of readers feeling guilty when the reality is, they didn't have any other choice and it's probably done the baby no harm if it is given great love and attention around that.

208 people found this helpful

Amp

Save your cash, no new information here. Dangerous book to trauma survivors

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 16 February 2021

Verified Purchase

This book is to be avoided by trauma survivors. Author describes in the first chapter ‘dealing with the past’, however, there is NO dealing with the past, she just stirrs up past hurts and leaves it there. As a trauma survivor, this book made me unwell and vomiting.

Book is also very shallow, touching many topics briefly, without going into depths and without offering a practical solution how to deal with issues. Book feel very mentoring, as if someone wants to feel good at your expense, yet the person is providing no real knowledge. I got to page 33 without getting a single new information. I mean, who does not know today that you are not supposed to talk negative stuff to your child about your divorced other?

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The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did): THE #1 SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER Kindle Edition

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