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I’ve always wanted a daughter: A Memoir of Parenting a Transgender Child by [Ofrit Matzas]

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Ofrit Matzas

I’ve always wanted a daughter: A Memoir of Parenting a Transgender Child Kindle Edition

by Ofrit Matzas (Author) Format: Kindle Edition

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A mother's powerful, honest memoir that sheds light on the process of her daughter's gender transformation and the wonderful things she learned along the way.

When Ofrit brought her firstborn daughter into this world, a dream she always had, she was on cloud nine.

She had no idea what the future had in store for her.

“Mom, I want to get a haircut." That is how it all began. “What is she talking about?” Ofrit thought to herself, puzzled. "Where did this come from all of a sudden? To cut her long, blond, streaming hair, that scissors had never touched from the day she was born? After all, she had never wanted to get a haircut."

That is how it all started, without any warning, in the middle of her life.

For Liron, however, this did not come out of nowhere. For years she had wanted to live by her own truth, and fight for what was right for her.

Liron carried her Mom away on the rapids, adhering to decisions that changed the whole family. Overnight, Ofrit’s dream was shattered and her personal world underwent an enormous upheaval.

All the while, Liron gradually turned into a handsome young man, and through his own journey, he tought Ofrit new things about herself—infinite determination, hope, love of others, lines that one should not try to straighten according to what society dictates and that free choice is as much a person’s right as their obligation.

I’ve Always Wanted a Daughter is a moving, sometimes unsettling, memoir that provides a true and honest glimpse, full of hope and love of into the new life experienced by the family members of those who decide to enter a gender transformation process.

Print length

192 pages
Language

English
Publication date

13 September 2020
File size

364 KB
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Product details

ASIN ‏ : ‎ B08BPHQX15
Language ‏ : ‎ English
File size ‏ : ‎ 364 KB
Simultaneous device usage ‏ : ‎ Unlimited
Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Print length ‏ : ‎ 192 pages

Best Sellers Rank: 493,543 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- 263 in Transgender Rights & Expression
- 272 in LGBTQ+ Biographies & Memoirs
- 650 in LGBTQ+ Biographies (Books)

Customer Reviews:
77 ratings

About the author

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Ofrit Matzas

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Ofrit Matzas, 49, is a medical aide and professional makeup artist, the youngest of 3 children.

She is very fond of animals, a talented painter and writer, likes people and company very much, and loves helping people, accepting their otherness.

She is the proud mother of Liad and Liron, a boy born in the body of a girl, who at age sixteen turned her world upside down, shaking it completely, until she finally reached the other shore-one that is more real, safer and consummated. Ofrit underwent this process with the love and courage of a mother, hand in hand with Liron, through all the accompanying turbulence and tears.

This is an accepting family that has learned much and wants to share their story, which has been

documented in a television series produced by Medalia Productions for "YesDocu".

Over the past year, Ofrit has been delivering lectures on the transition process across the country.

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Customer reviews

5 star		51%
4 star		18%
3 star		22%
2 star		3%
1 star		6%

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A brave mother

Reviewed in the United States on 16 September 2020

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When a baby is born, the first thing we notice is if it is a boy or girl and of course, we sometimes find out before birth. We raise our babies based on that first observation.
What nobody expects is that a few children do not feel at all happy or comfortable living according to the gender they were born as.

We are also not comfortable with their inability to comply with society's expectations according to the visible gender their bodies are.

They may have been raised as one gender, but feel like they are really the other gender.

This seems incomprehensible to us. To have given birth to a girl baby who grows up to want to be a boy, or to have the body of a boy but to feel like a girl, is a very difficult situation.

In this book Ofrit Matzas tells readers honestly of her experience as the mother of a girl child who emphatically decided he definitely wanted to be a boy.

I have a colleague who was born in a male body, but feels she is a woman. Her daily battles with her heavy beard growing through her make-up are painful to watch.

I find this deeply interesting, withholding judgement, as I strive to understand how this can happen.

I came across some very interesting stories on YouTube about Chimeras. Well worth watching and very possibly an authentic reason for this situation.

I wish I could share this information with Ofrit Matzas. Her bewilderment and heartbreak as she watched her beautiful intelligent daughter's agony of identity, developing into transisioning into a male, is gut-wrenchingly painful, brutally honest, frank and explicit.
She describes her sense of great loss of her girl-child while sensitively supporting her son.

It takes a special mother to prayerfully be there at every point of the process, including a double mastectomy, and to bare her soul to a world which can sometimes be rigid.

There are also cases of parents who will assist an under-age child to make very serious decisions they may possibly regret at a later stage of their lives.

I believe this mother captured her conflicted emotions very accurately. I respect her and her son as they find a way through the maze of devastating decisions leading to rejoicing and relief for her son. It is not an easy read but if we know someone living with the tortured emotions driven by an internal force of self-rejection, we can empathize.

6 people found this helpful

Kae Bender - Writer and former Editor

Superficial but probably helpful

Reviewed in the United States on 6 November 2020

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I was reading about a transgender person who lived most of his life as the birth-assigned gender, but I really had no idea exactly what a transgender person means, so when I saw this book, I thought it might provide more explanation what was involved. As I began reading about Liron in Israel, I was reminded of a little boy in my sister's neighborhood who was very comfortable running around dressed as and acting like a girl. He was in preschool and already knew he was not as society assigned. (I have no idea if he decided later he was transgender, but I imagine he could well be a she now.)

Gage's parents as well as the entire neighborhood were much more accepting than Liron's family was initially. No matter how much Liron's mother assures us of her acceptance, the title and her attitude throughout didn't really seem like she'd overcome her desire to have the perfect daughter Liron had pretended to be for 16 years. I think the take away for a transgender person is to demonstrate early and consistently their preferred gender rather than trying to conform to the birth-norm. Once people see the affinity, it seems easier for them to accept the reality and help the transgender person accomplish whatever level of transition they choose toward their inner reality. Finding the specialized psychologists and doctors who understand the issues and processes a gender tranformation involves seems to be a really important support, too, as would be connecting with people who had similar experiences.

This book provides an adequate explanation of one person's and their family's experience of a physical transgender transformation. For that, I rate it 3☆. Despite a few typos and translation glitches, the concepts in the book seemed clear regardless of the surrounding society.

I would assume the process is similar in any location that allows the transformation surgery. I would imagine a rigidly religious or societal rejection of the transition would be the hardest experience both for the child and parent and might remain unreconcilable. Though I wasn't looking for an exhaustive study, I did wonder whether Liron's experience was typical; I did look for a bit more information online.

The book and basic research were enough for my surface interest, but I imagine anyone seriously looking at the transgender process will need far more. For example, the book lacked exploration of the child's and/or parent's inner emotional, mental, psychological, and interpersonal struggles. Sure, the mom tells us they had inner and outer conflicts through the period, but how each evolved to acceptance remained undefined. There are undoubtedly deeper explorations elsewhere. While this book seemed fairly superficial, I would hope reading it would at least help an individual and family to be more accepting of the reality of a child in gender conflict and open them to discovering more.

One person found this helpful

Taffy Sassoon

Eye-opening and inspiring

Reviewed in the United States on 1 September 2021

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Despite shortcomings of the translation, this book is a compelling read. Both mother and son are inspiring in their ability to navigate a transition which profoundly challenges and alters both their self-understanding and their relationships with others. They're fortunate to have a supportive family, social milieu and medical system. This book is a wonderful introduction to the poignant human-ness of a phenomenon many of us have only recently become aware of.

One person found this helpful

Agate

Honest and moving

Reviewed in the United States on 2 October 2020

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Thank you for telling your story. Your honesty and knowledge helped bring the puzzle pieces together. When a child comes forward about gender dysphoria, a mom's mind flies in a dozen different directions. When did they realize? What signs have I overlooked all these years? How do I explain to old, stuffy relatives? How do I switch my brain to get the pronouns correct? I may be re-reading this a few times, but I feel that I'm finally starting to "get" what's happening here. Thank you.

One person found this helpful

Skull927

Fantastic

Reviewed in the United States on 28 November 2020

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The book is well written and easy to read. It is not a manual to those interested to learn how to transition (as i read reviews of readers disappointed about it). It is however genuine and honest. It is also highly vulnerable a raw .It is a story of a brave woman navigating through a sea of emotions and a process most of us don't understand, or are not familiar with. I enjoyed reading it (change of pace of my usual go to books). Highly recommend

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Ofrit Matzas

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