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About John Kim
John Kim LMFT (The Angry Therapist) pioneered the online life coaching movement seven years ago, after going through a divorce which led to his total re-birth. He quickly built a devoted following of fans who loved the frank and authentic insights that he freely shared on social media. He pulled the curtain back and showed himself by practicing transparency and sharing his story something therapists are taught not to do. Kim became known as an unconventional therapist who worked out of the box by seeing clients at coffee shops, on hikes, in a CrossFit box. He built a coaching team of his own and launched a sister company called JRNI, creating a new way to help people help people and change the way we change. He lives in Los Angeles.
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Books By John Kim
The author of I Used to Be a Miserable F*ck, The Angry Therapist, now teaches you how to prioritize your relationship with yourself and live a more meaningful life, whether you’re alone, dating, or with a partner.
There’s more to life than loving someone. But being single can feel like a death sentence. Why does being alone = being lonely? And why do we stop working on ourselves when we’re in a relationship?
After a painful divorce, “The Angry Therapist” John Kim realized he had never truly been on his own. He went on a journey to rebuild his relationship with himself, going from alone and disconnected to alone and fulfilled.
Kim has gone on to help thousands of clients find their own unique way to break free of expectations and finally live their truth. With Single on Purpose, Kim takes his signature no-BS “self-help in a shot glass” approach as he shares his own singlehood story and shows readers how to own their shit, break their patterns, and find a grounded sense of self.
Spending time to cultivate your relationship with yourself shouldn’t be something you only do when you hit rock bottom, go through a major loss, or have a quarter-life crisis. All of us, at some point, need to be single—on purpose.
Two therapists analyze their own relationship to help untangle the common and frustrating barriers many individuals face on the road to a happy, loving, rewarding partnership.
Many of the clients who end up in our respective therapist offices thought they were doing relationships right—avoiding the white picket fence, focusing on careers and experiences over babies and legally-binding documents, choosing someone after they “found themselves” first. However, like clockwork, around their early to mid-thirties, these clients show up at our door. Why? For the first time, they realize that they dislike their relationship and are frustrated by their partner but know that another break-up won’t fix things. They recognize a pattern of relationship misery that has them finally looking in the mirror asking, how do you make a relationship last?
It took us many relationships, our own inner self journey (which we’re still on), therapy, therapy school, and helping thousands of people with their relationships, to learn to have better ones ourselves. Vanessa woke up at 31, after ending an engagement and moving to Los Angeles. John thought he woke up at 35 after his divorce. But he didn’t truly wake up until he was pushing 40.
In It’s Not Me, It’s You, John and Vanessa dissect their own relationship to help readers figure out theirs: what their relationships were like in the past, what traumas they carried into the new relationship, and how they work on growing together to foster a healthy and long-term bond.
The surprising truth is falling in love is more about you than your partner. It’s more about challenge and growth than comfort and ease, and roots don’t grow from wishful thinking—they grow in the soil of communication, curiosity, patience, and understanding.
It’s Not Me, It’s You is for anyone looking for real advice on relationships that takes both sides into account and discusses relationships with the honesty and clarity we all need.
Let’s face it, therapy is a luxury. Few of us have the time or money to devote to going to an office every week. With anecdotes illustrating principles in action (in relatable and sometimes irreverent fashion) and stand-alone practices and exercises, Kim gives readers the tools and directions to focus on what's right with them instead of what's wrong.
When John Kim was going through the end of a relationship, he began blogging as The Angry Therapist, documenting his personal journey post-divorce. Traditional therapists avoid transparency, but Kim preferred the language of "me too" as opposed to "you should." He blogged about his own shortcomings, revelations, views on relationships, and the world. He spoke a different therapeutic language —open, raw, and at times subversive — and people responded. The Angry Therapist blog, that inspired this book, has been featured in The Atlantic Monthly and on NPR.
Oh. I mean dating.