The Kiss Quotient: A Novel Audible Audiobook – Unabridged

Helen Hoang (Author), Carly Robins (Narrator), Dreamscape Media, LLC (Publisher)

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A cosmopolitan title to get excited about in 2018!

Stella Lane thinks math is the only thing that unites the universe. She comes up with algorithms to predict customer purchases - a job that has given her more money than she knows what to do with as well as way less experience in the dating department than the average 30-year-old. It doesn't help that she has Asperger's and that French kissing reminds her of a shark getting its teeth cleaned by pilot fish. She decides that she needs lots of practice - with a professional - which is why she hires escort Michael Phan.

The Vietnamese-Swedish stunner can't afford to turn down Stella's offer, and he agrees to help her check off all the boxes on her lesson plan - from foreplay to more-than-missionary position... Before long, Stella not only learns to appreciate his kisses but also to crave all of the other things he's making her feel. Their no-nonsense partnership starts making a strange kind of sense. And the pattern that emerges convinces Stella that love is the best kind of logic...

Listening Length

9 hours and 36 minutes
Author

Helen Hoang
Narrator

Carly Robins
Audible release date

5 June 2018
Language

English
Publisher

Dreamscape Media, LLC
ASIN

B07D3B44KM
Version

Unabridged
Program Type

Audiobook
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Product details

Listening Length	9 hours and 36 minutes
Author	Helen Hoang
Narrator	Carly Robins
Whispersync for Voice	Ready
Audible.com.au Release Date	05 June 2018
Publisher	Dreamscape Media, LLC
Program Type	Audiobook
Version	Unabridged
Language	English
ASIN	B07D3B44KM
Best Sellers Rank	1,474 in Audible Books & Originals (See Top 100 in Audible Books & Originals) 2 in Multicultural Romance (Audible Books & Originals) 39 in Women's Fiction (Audible Books & Originals) 47 in Contemporary Romance (Audible Books & Originals)

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5 star		52%
4 star		28%
3 star		16%
2 star		3%
1 star		1%

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Top reviews from Australia

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alias8

If you read the one star reviews don't let them put you off this book

Reviewed in Australia on 21 May 2021

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Now, I am a reader of one star reviews before I buy a book so did the same with this one. What I read there nearly put me off so I just wanted to address some of the things that were mentioned in those reviews.
1. If you don't like sex scenes don't read romance novels, this is a story about a woman who hires a male escort so I'm not sure what people were expecting. I know that there are the sweet genre Romance novels out there but I'm pretty sure that you can tell that this is definitely not one of those from the blurb so to criticise it for this is just ridiculous. That being said there was not nearly as much sex in the book as I thought there was going to be, yes there was a bit but it was in line with a lot of romance that I read and I read probably near to 200 books a year.
2. Several people mentioned Fifty Shades of Grey in their reviews which is the thing that actually nearly put me off reading this book. This book is in not related to 50 Shades of Grey in any way shape or form so completely disregard those reviews. If you are like me this is a good thing as in my personal opinion fifty shades is seriously overrated trash. Sorry if that offends anybody.
3. The last thing that more than one reviewer mentioned was about the author not having done her homework about Asperger's. If the reviewers had read about the author they would know that the author has Asperger's and for anyone who does know anything about it knows that it is called a spectrum for a reason. I don't think I need to say anything more about that.
So having gotten my grievances out of the way with the reviews I enjoyed this book very much and would recommend it .

32 people found this helpful

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All The Stars!! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Reviewed in Australia on 21 April 2021

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This book deserves all the stars!

I did not expect to love this but it is now, hands down, one of my top favourite books ever! Everything about this was perfection. The characters, the autism rep, the Asian rep, all of it was done so perfectly and was realistic! Something we don’t get very often in these types of books.

I don’t think I’ve read a book this good in ages. I’ve only just finished it and I already want to go back and read!
That utter adorableness is ridiculous and I want more. Stella and Michael are the most loveable people ever, I never want to stop reading about them!🥺 Seriously I can not get over how cute this is!

Another thing I absolutely loved, and let me tell you-I loved everything, was Stella and Michael, not just as couple but individually. They were beautifully written characters. I adored the way Michael handled everything with Stella, even before he found out she had autism, was so sweet. I loved that he loved her quirkiness and he fell for her because of that. He loved her for Her! I don’t think I’ve met two characters who were so perfectly in sync with each other before. And the steaminess between them was 🥵🔥 was not expecting it to be so sexy!
There was not a single thing that I did not love about this book.

Honestly I could probably go on and on about how amazing this is but we’d be here all day 😅 so I’m just going to say if you’re looking for your next cutesy RomCom that will have you grinning ear to ear then read this one!!!

One person found this helpful

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5 Perfect Stars ⭐️

Reviewed in Australia on 18 April 2019

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The Kiss Quotient was like a breath of fresh air.

When you read so many books, they start meshing into one another sometimes leaving you a little underwhelmed. And then, you delightfully stumble across this book and it knocks you for a six.
Here we have a heroine living with Asperger’s who feels isolated, inexperienced, micro managed by her family but also has an overwhelming desire to experience living. Stella hires an escort in order to further herself intimately so that she will be equipped to have a ‘normal’ relationship in the future.

What we get is a hysterical journey where she learns that ‘normal’ is underrated with the unlikeliest of help along the way. I laughed, I deep breathed and I fell totally in love with these words I couldn’t read quickly enough. And don’t despair, it was insanely erotic to boot.

One person found this helpful

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Cassie romances

Fantastic Read

Reviewed in Australia on 9 August 2018

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I love a couple who aren't perfect but are perfect for each other. This one is definitely going on my favourites list.

The reverse pretty woman theme completely works. I loved the depth of the characters, their families, interests work and heritage. The chemistry was off the charts. Stella is amazing. A bit different, but she is successful, kind and an inside and out beautiful person who needs someone who understands her. Michael is perfect for he, they complete each other.

Fantastic story.

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SIMMERRI_1

Brilliant story

Reviewed in Australia on 18 September 2021

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Absolutely adored this story. I remember voting for it in the Goodread's awards one year. Not sure why it took me so long to read it. I love how the author has handled her MC having Autism Spectrum Disorder. So good to read a book where the main characters aren't perfect. This felt more real to me. I loved it and would highly recommend.

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Jill R Lewis

Surprisingly Tender & Clearly Experienced

Reviewed in Australia on 12 September 2021

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As the description and actions of our female protagonist unfolded, I knew this author must have a great handle on autism. My teenage son has autism and the author nailed it over and over again with her own challenges (overstimulation, loud crowded spaces etc). Although it's different for different people, there are a load of commonalities and this book gave me real hope that my son, who is total adverse to being touched, might still be able to have a healthy relationship in his future if he can find someone with patience and understanding of his quirks. It was a great read and a very refreshing look at love between neurodiverse and neurotypical people.

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6 stars

Reviewed in Australia on 15 April 2019

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I am absolutely kicking myself for not reading this book sooner. It’s an absolute 6 star read for me. I cannot adequately describe just how much I loved it, as a mother of an autistic child this book was so real, definitely confronting and just overall so well done. I cried so many times for Stella and absolutely loved Michael’s patience with her differences. Such a beautiful love story. I cannot wait to read The Bride Test!

One person found this helpful

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Top reviews from other countries

T. K. Elliott

Start reading this when you have time to finish it - a one-sitting read!

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 22 June 2018

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This book was amazing. I cried. Twice.

I just loved it from start to finish. I'd had my eye on this for a bit, and when it was reduced in price on Amazon, I bought it on reflex. Then realised, with dawning horror, that I hadn't checked to see whether it was written in the present tense - which I generally remember to do, because I hate books written in the present tense.

Reading just the first paragraph would have settled the question (no, it's not - it's safely written in the past tense), but I just couldn't stop. I ended up reading the whole book in one sitting, only taking my nose out of it to walk downstairs (walking upstairs while still reading is much less dangerous).

On a more analytical level, this book had everything I want in a romance:
1. An intelligent heroine who uses her brain and is not a pitiful mess who needs a man to sort her out.
2. An intelligent and likeable hero, who acts like a civilised human being.
3. A plot that does not rely on otherwise intelligent people suddenly losing all common sense and doing things because the author needs them to.
4. A relationship that works. I expect these two will have their ups and downs - but I think they'll be all right in the long term.

Thoroughly recommended. The author has written another book - The Bride Test - and I will almost certainly get it. But I shall only open it when I have a free day!

19 people found this helpful

Andrea

Not for me

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 19 May 2021

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This was not what I expected - so many glowing reviews, but I guess it just wasn't for me at all because I didn't like it.

I thought it was so cliche!

Meet Stella - beautiful but doesn't know it; sexy but doesn't know it; low self esteem although she's super smart and successful.

Meet Michael - gorgeous; mysterious past; talented; gorgeous; acts confident but has a low self esteem too; sacrifices himself for his family; gorgeous.

Stella has Asperger's; Michael also works as an escort and is hired by Stella to help her out with shyness and her fear of sex.

You can guess the rest, as it's sooooo predictable. I was sick and tired of reading how well they fit together (mentally and physically), how they both wanted the mock relationship to be real, how sad they both were knowing that the other didn't feel the same way, how gorgeous Michael was, how sexy his Stella was.

It just followed a typical romance, with all the tropes and cliches.

5 people found this helpful

giki

a great idea that went off the rails halfway through

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 23 June 2019

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Living with Aspergers has not held Stella back from a very successful career, she loves her high powered job wrangling algorithms for an online retailer, but personal relationships, especially romantic ones are a different story. Deciding that something must be done, and taking a practical approach, she hires a male escort to show her the ropes. But there is a lot more to Michael than first meets the eye and their relationship very quickly deepens into something more meaningful.
Write what you know, they say, and in her note at the end of the book author Helen Hoang reveals that she herself is autistic, so we can be confident that this is a good representation of how one autistic person may act or feel. It is a pretty interesting insight. The romance is sweet and the characters are likeable.
so why didn't I enjoy it?
Michael is perhaps just a little over the top, ridiculously good looking, highly talented and endlessly self-sacrificing. The fact that the plot constantly hinged on people jumping to the wrong conclusions and trying to sabotage there own happiness was gratingly annoying. Some of the plot twists towards the end were really ridiculous - details would be spoilers - but it was just too ridiculously convenient.
In my opinion, this was a great idea that went right of the rails halfway through, but, a lot of people do love this book - there is so much hype out there. I must be missing something.

6 people found this helpful

Sarah (Feeling Fictional)

The Kiss Quotient

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 11 January 2019

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Since she turned 30 Stella's mother has started putting on the pressure about her getting married and starting to produce some much longed for grandkids. Stella doesn't want to let her parents down but as someone with Aspergers Syndrome she finds interpersonal relationships extremely difficult and her few attempts at sex have all ended in disaster because she couldn't bear to be touched so intimately by a practical stranger. She's extremely successful at her career but feels like a failure because of her struggles to hold down a relationship so she decides to hire a professional to teach her how to enjoy, or at least tolerate, sex. She's sure that once she's mastered sex she'll have a chance to find a husband and start building a family.

Michael has been an escort for three years, working on the side to earn enough money to cover his mother's medical bills. It wasn't a career path he went looking for and he's become pretty jaded about both women and sex so he finds Stella's openness about her goals incredibly refreshing. Michael is patient, calm and willing to take things very slowly so that Stella is always in control and feeling comfortable with what they're doing. He listens to her fears, goes out of his way to make things easier for her and never makes her feel awkward. In fact, he's the first person who seems to like her for her quirks rather than in spite of them.

I really loved The Kiss Quotient, it's like a gender swapped version of Pretty Woman and the story was both sweet, sexy and incredibly romantic. I loved Stella's personality, she's very intelligent and caring so although she finds it hard to read people she works hard to understand Michael and his family. She's a total novice when it comes to relationships but the way things slowly develop between them was totally believable and I loved how willing they both were to talk things through and discuss their hopes and dreams. Michael has a lot of baggage of his own and doesn't feel worthy of Stella thanks to some things in his past but he was really sweet and protective of her and they just fitted together as a couple so well. I wasn't a big fan of Stella's parents but Michael's mother and sisters more than made up for that and this whole book just left me with a massive smile on my face.

It's not often that I fall so totally in love with a contemporary romance story but The Kiss Quotient was a one sitting read that I absolutely devoured and I'm definitely going to be purchasing everything that Helen Hoang writes in the future.

4 people found this helpful

Nicci

A super enjoyable read!

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 26 June 2021

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I am kicking myself for having waited so long to read this book! It is delightful!

This book is so easy to read... You just slide into the story on page one and are promptly swept away on a gentle current of laughter and romantic awesomeness.

The book has a simple premise that is executed beautifully. Filled with loveable characters, real challenges and understandable conflict, it was a super enjoyable read.

The Asperger's elements really hit home for me (as I imagine they would for anyone who is close to an Aspie) and I adored the care and understanding Michael showed Stella even before he knew anything about it. (If only the majority of people in real life were so kind and understanding of people's differences...)

Michael is such a wonderful character... I mean, Stella is fine - I liked her - but Michael stole the show and my heart. The lengths he went to for his family... Not many would. I totally understood why he did the escorting but I'm not going to lie and say that I didn't struggle with it. It gave me a slightly skeezy feeling whenever I thought about how many women he'd slept with. I honestly don't know how Stella could handle it but the pair of them were so good together that I'm glad she could!

I didn't love The Kiss Quotient as much as I did The Bride Test (yes, I read them out of order) but, if you haven't read it already, I highly recommend it just the same!

One person found this helpful

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The Kiss Quotient: A Novel Audible Audiobook – Unabridged

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